Okay, kids, here’s the schedule. Humorous comments afterward.


OLD SCHEDULE


1. Pre Calculus H – Cisnero


2. British Literature H – Moran


3. Pe 3 Days


3. / 4. Physics H – Bordak


5. Economics – Saroka (S1)


5. Lunch – Spring (S2)


6. US History 2 – McEvoy


7. Successful Management – Berner (Q3)


7. Health – Keller (Q4)


7. Lunch – Fall (S1)


8. Entrepreneurship – Weigner (S1)


8. Introduction to Computer Science (S2)



Pre Calc H, huh? Wow. That’s all I have to say. My guidance counselor is on fucking crack. I got a C for Algebra 2 H last year. That ALREADY disqualifies me from applying for Pre Calc H, but the stupid bitch put me in it anyway. I dropped that shit like a bad dream.


Physics H, eh? I got a C fucking MINUS in Chemistry H last year. That also disqualifies me from applying to Physics H, but Stupid Fucking Guidance Counselor comes to the rescue!


Yeah, so today I went to my school to talk to the bitch in person. Apparently, she’s so 1337 that she doesn’t feel the need to answer a ringing phone. Either that, or she’s just too fucking stupid to figure out how to pick up the receiver. Anyhow, we spent a little time and worked out a new schedule. I’m hoping that this is a temporary solution, because she made me drop all honors courses, and I kinda wanted Brit Lit H because of a friend in there. Therefore, consider the above schedule NULL AND VOID.The new (and hopefully temporary) schedule is as follows:

NEW SCHEDULE


1. British Literature – Weiss


2. Pre Calculus – Markot


3. Pe 3 Days


3. / 4. Physics – Daus


5. Economics – Saroka (S1)


5. Lunch – Spring (S2)


6. US History 2 – McEvoy


7. Successful Management – Berner (Q3)


7. Health 3 – Keller (Q4)


7. Lunch – Fall (S1)


8. Entrepreneurship – Weigner (S1)


8. Introduction to Computer Science (S2)


I praise God that I got the Mac for history, this should be a great year in that class. It also seems that just about every single class of mine is taught by dudes. It’s a total sausage fest dude! Nah, it should be cool. I’ve never had all dudes before and from my experience they’re usually pretty cool teachers (Mac is a shining example).


Can’t wait for school to start.


……Dear God, what the fuck is wrong with me? O.o



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Blade: Trinity is a decent movie, and I would give it a “Kick Fucking Ass” rating, if only the movie’s audience (namely ME) wasn’t absolutely and entirely raped by shameless advertising seen everywhere. Within the first 10 minutes, I identified an iMac desktop, almost immediately followed by an Alienware gaming laptop (in an FBI office, no less). Great job assholes, FBI agents really try to slip in some Doom 3 time there, huh? Try this one on for size, though. It almost made me vomit. One of the main heros, this one happening to be a heroine, enjoys a certain practice while she kicks ass and kills vampires effortlessly. Jessica Biel (who is unbelievably hot), playing the role of “Abby”, enjoys listening to her fucking iPod while she’s fighting. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. As they’re driving to whatever fight scene is about to ensue, you can see the bitch on her laptop (an iBook, of course, cause that’s what all hip people use) uploading her playlist of cool hip fight music to her stupid iPod. And then you see her put those stupid headphones in her ears as some shitty techno music kicks in. If my description didn’t make you vomit, then rest assured it made me. And then, as if seeing that shit one time wasn’t enough, they go for the “second time’s the charm” and do it again near the end of the movie.


Despite the virtual enema of advertising applied rectally to your asshole (redundancy? Hell no, I just want to make sure the mental image stays burned in the folds of your miniscule brain) throughout the viewing of this film, it’s still got some good action. Some new toys, and the bitch carried a pretty mean crossbow, too. And some stupid wrestler played one of the vampire hechmen. He was pretty cool.


I’d also like to comment on one of the other heros throughout the movie. Going by the name of “Hannibal King” (can you think of a stupider name?), I hated this asshole from the very start. He was the sort of character that provides that all too unnecessary element of “comic relief” in a film. He cracked the stupidest jokes all throughout and was generally terrible at being a smartass. Here’s one gem:

King: We call ourselves the “Nightstalkers”.


Blade: What the fuck is wrong with you? The “Nightstalkers”? *


King: Well we were gonna use “Carebears”, but that was already taken.


* Maybe Blade didn’t use those exact words, but he definitely meant it.


So you have a general idea of the kind of asshole this guy was. Wesley Snipes, as in the last 2 predecessors, portrayed Blade perfectly. From dialogue to just the main look of a vampire killing badass, he pulled off the image flawlessly. Too bad his acting was dragged down by the assholes accompanying him.


This is, after all, the 3rd film in the series (and also the finale in the trilogy). I was sort of expecting a trainwreck of a film in the sequel, but they actually managed to pull that off into a pretty good movie. This kind of shit was practically mandatory in the 3rd film. It wasn’t as bad as it might have been, I’ll tell you that much.


Final Rating: C+

Alright, System of a Down concert last night.

TOTAL KICK FUCKING ASS

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s discuss the event. The main lineup consisted of:

  • Bad Acid Trip
  • Mars Volta
  • and of course S.O.A.D.
  • Bad
    Acid Trip were okay. They’re a sub mediocre screaming metal band. Their
    performance reflected this sub mediocrity. There were lots of booing in
    the audience, but I didn’t hate them, so to speak.

    Next up were
    Mars Volta. They were a kinda weird band. The singer’s voice is really
    high pitched and it kinda clashed against the sometimes heavy guitar
    riffs. Just a weird performance in general.

    After what seemed
    like forever, System finally came out. Grand opening too, Daron was
    playing “Soldier Side” behind closed curtains with just his silhouette
    visible in the spotlight. Then the curtain dropped as “B.Y.O.B.” came
    screaming. Incredible show from “Soldier Side” all the way up to
    “Sugar”. I was singing every single song and headbanged to the point
    where my neck was aching today. I even air guitared on the songs I knew
    how to play. Great stuff. Daron’s a funny guy, there was some
    conversation in between songs. As an introduction to a song, he was
    like “Today you’ve got 2 kinds of people. You’ve got red people and
    blue people. Red states and blue states. I say fuck that shit and let’s
    just make a big purple country.” and then “Sad Statue” kicked in.
    Fantastic lights show too. They had lights coordinated with different
    pieces of each song. Like every scream, for example, would be cued with
    a bright flash of some color light. They had a little light display on
    the wall too. For the song “Mr. Jack”, there’s a lyric that goes “FUCK
    YOU PIG, FUCK YOU PIG, FUCK YOU PIG, FUCK YOU PIG, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
    GET OUT OF THE CAR!” and for every “FUCK YOU PIG”, the lights would
    display those words in rhythm as they were being sung. It was pretty
    funny. Yeah, so all in all, fantastic show.

    Now for off-topic
    discussions about the concert in general. For one, Continental Arenas
    actually allows smoking, which both amazed me and pissed me off to no
    end. I came home smelling like a fucking ashtray (this is not atypical
    to any other show though). Naturally, if cigarettes are allowed, the
    only next logical step is weed. The bathrooms absolutely reeked of the
    shit. That’s my only real and plausible gripe about the whole
    experience, and that’s the smoking. There were intermittent pauses in
    which some asshole would light up around me, thankfully it wasn’t the
    whole show. I don’t think I could have stood 2 hours breathing some
    asshole’s fumes.

    Yeah, so there were these 3 dudes sitting in the
    row in front of me. I’m telling you, they were wasted out of their
    fucking minds. I don’t know if they were drunk, high, or what. All I
    know is they were definitely trippin balls. Yeah so one of them starts
    getting all wobbly and shit. And he kinda falls into this huge bulky
    guy sitting directly in front of me. First the guy just shoves him off.
    Then when he does it again 5 minutes later, the guy just loses it and
    lands the most perfect right hook right to his temple. I couldn’t help
    but exhale in impressment (is that a word? If not, bite me.) So, after
    he nails the dude, the other wasted dudes also join in and they all
    start brawling. Fun stuff. Don’t know what happened to all of them, but
    they got kicked out, me thinks.

    When the show was over and I was
    walking out, I realized something. I couldn’t fucking hear myself! My
    voice seemed kind of distant, you know? It’s a weird feeling when you
    feel like you’re talking to yourself from 20 feet away. Came back
    though, lol.

    Unforgettable experience, thank you System.

    Yeah….so now I gots me permit. To my dismay, I am legally allowed to drive only within the state of New Jersey. Oh well…For the past two days however, I’ve been able to drive my pops home from work! Lots of highway fun, I even crossed a bridge last night!

    In other news, San Andreas still kicks a hell of a lot of ass..

    OOH! Forgot to mention! I am now permit enabled and legal to operate vehicles on the wide open road. Should be getting the permit mailed to me in a few short days.

    YAY!!

    I’ve been somewhat of a nomad recently. I took a break from PGR2 (mainly because I couldn’t beat that one fucking street race on gold and I was going to have a heart attack soon), and so I temporarily returned to Ninja Gaiden. Instead of going back to continue my VH run, I decided to try out Hurricane Pack 1. This is basically the main game, it just introduces new enemies, varied enemy placements, new moves for enemies, and a brand new kick fucking ass weapon.


    The first level was already balls hard. It usually had regular ninjas that would just swipe at you. Instead, they got replaced with Black Spider Ninjas. These crack happy pieces of shit throw explosive shurikens, flip all over the place, and worst of all: they now have a grapple and throw move. If before I could just spam block the whole time and attack when there was a small window, then now these assholes just slit my throat from behind, and toss me over their shoulder.


    However, the new weapon is fan-fucking-tastic. It’s a bo-staff known as the Lunar, it works like a pair of nunchakus with twice the range. It just tears enemies apart. Great fun with that thing.


    I would have really continued, if only my mommy didn’t come home one day to tell me “Mike, I got you a game from the library.” Naturally, I was curious and replied, “Which game?” To my great surprise, it was GTA: San Andreas. As quick as Gaiden came into my Xbox, that’s how quick it got the fuck out. For the last 3 or 4 days, San Andreas has taken over me. It really is an awesome game. The freedom is unparalleled. You can literally do anything. The missions, albeit rather simple, are still great fun. The storyline is, surprisingly, pretty intriguing. Filled with gang wars, respect, love, and what have you. Yeah that’s about it. Later.

    Not much new here. Had to reschedule my driving lesson because I was not aware of the fucking 24hr grace period. Now I’m in $40 because of the fucking cancellation fee. Yeah, so either way it’s currently scheduled for this Wednesday, upon which I will finally be ready for the road test.


    I’m still playing PGR2 like a junkie shoots up. I have committed to doing all races on Hard difficulty (gold medal), instead of my previous minimum of Medium difficulty (silver medal). Some of these races are FUCKING BALLS HARD. I am seriously close to chucking my controller, an act notorious among temperamental gamers. Previously, I have never really had such a strong urge. It’s just that some tracks have so many turns, that whatever lead the AI had before those turns, increases ten fold. And, well yeah it kinda pisses you off after a while of restarting 80 times. And the AI on turns? Forget the fuck about it. When all the cars are bunched together at the beginning of a race and there is an upcoming turn, fucking hell is unleashed. It’s not that these assholes can’t turn, it’s just that they crash me at any single opportunity. Either I go sliding out of control, or I just slam into a barrier from some moron clipping me on the side. Getting into the lead right after a turn is equivalent to something of a Christmas fucking miracle. Although all of this sounds like it sucks ass (and believe me, it sucks A LOT of ass), the upside to all of this hell is when you win. Flying through the finish line (after losing more times than most people from Alabama can count) provides the most incredible feeling of euphoria (as well as accomplishment) that no amount of psychotropic drug can offer. Unfortunately, I am still in the middle of the whole “hell” phase of the process, and am cursing (in two languages mind you) with the vigor that would make the guys from “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” blush. Ugh, more on this later.