My hypothesis is correct!
But wait…I really can’t take credit for this. This is a hypothesis
that was developed before CHEESE was. Before the fucking color BLUE for God’s sake.
The hypothesis is this:
The less we pay attention to women (read: act like completely depraved assholes), the more they love us.
It’s as ironic as fucking irony has the capability of being ironically ironic, but every last syllable is true, honest to God.
I don’t get it! I don’t get why! When you try to act nice and polite (read: pay [positive] attention),
they brush you off like you’re a fucking pedophile. But insult and
debase them till they cry (read: involved in general ignoring) and they won’t leave you alone.
EDIT: But I do
know now. I know the reason. You see, women don’t deal with rejection
well (although they’re quite happy to turn and reject guys).
When a guy serves as an important piece in a woman’s life (entirely
regardless of how unimportant it seems to her at the time), she feels
extremely uncomfortable when the piece disappears. And she’ll do
anything to get it back and retain her previous comfort level. This is
why you get a level of unprecedented attention from the woman, as she
desperately attempts to win back your companionship. That’s
where the woman’s misery is to be savored, like a fine wine, and then
sipped bit by bit, noticing the fruity hints of insecurity and despair.
Hey…you know, if I know bitches who deserve it, then that’s what they’ll get. And if I get tail from it, shibby.
No emotional investment on my behalf any longer.
I’ll put up a disclaimer here, even though I deem everything to follow
inherently OBVIOUS. But I overestimate your brainpower; namely, you’re
all idiots and I have to bring this down to a 5th grade level for you.
Some of you dipshits sound off with: “Well, not ALL *insert group here*
comment here*!” No fucking shit, retard. It’s obvious that my various
opinions do not hold true for the entirety of the group being commented
on. Not ALL women are idiots, just as much as not ALL old people are
bad drivers, just as much as…well you get the idea. Just a
On the case of women being attracted to assholes, here is what you
should know before you fire off your shitcannon: I exclude ugly girls
as extraneous data from the control group, because
obviously I don’t find them attractive. I, quite understandably,
observe the desirable ones. The control group encompasses hot,
stereotypically insecure bitches. And it’s safe to say that for an
overwhelmingly large majority, the hypothesis holds true.