Hmm…it’s funny how you see yourself in people sometime.
Like, certain mindsets people might have that you have since either outgrown
from, or very well may still share.
Such a mindset is one that most certainly plagues all men at
one point or another. Rather, up to a
point or another. It’s the mindset of emotionless gratification; remorseless
fucking, or “friends with benefits” as it is sometimes eloquently put. Seems
perfect for the longest time. No dealing with the hassle of relationships,
emotions, fights, blahblahblah, just fill the urge and be done with it.
Gets boring, unfortunately. There’s only a finite amount of
time you can take it till one day you say to yourself, “This sucks.” When an
emotionless vacuum exists between two people, it’s just…bleh, you know? As
guys, we probably don’t care for the irrelevancies of relationships; it’s about
sexual attraction for a huge majority. At the outset anyway (as single.) For
chicks, for the longest time you look for your knight in shining armor. And you
go through schmos who’re fuck ups in one way or another, running the gamut of
emotional instability/insecurity/etc. I think sooner or later you lower the bar
a bit and set more practical standards. We too, obviously have some level of
standards. We want something above a street whore (I speak for myself at
least), but we want someone who won’t make us feel inferior at the same time.
Reflecting on myself, I know I don’t want “friends with
benefits” any longer.
Oh oh! Moment of irony! Back when I wanted “friends with benefits”, I
couldn’t get it (Thanks Prince Charming.) Now, I can get it, but don’t
want to! End moment of irony.
Not half a year ago, I was neck deep in the
mindset (there’s just no other explanation for the idiots that I’ve
gone for in the past). I
think it’s also a matter of ego and the fact that I tend to
myself. I don’t want some dumb slut (anymore). That’s too easy and I’d
disrespecting myself in the very process because I know I could do
bounds higher and better. I could take my pick from the menagerie of
this school; the mindless sophomores with tits that weigh more than
brains. As easy as taking candy from a baby. But then what? A little
now I have some nagging retard on my back, making my life a living
thanks, I’ve gone through that already.
A path I’d rather not revisit. It’d be a chain of dating and dumping; going out
with the chick for two weeks, sucking up all the fun, and then dropping her
like a bag of coals the second things seem to go awry. A somewhat revolting
practice as I describe it, but one that is undoubtedly practiced by more than a
I may have been an asshole in my time, but even I couldn’t go through with that on a
There is obviously more to seek in a woman for me besides
good looks. Being able to just talk to each other is an amazing thing, in my
opinion, just because of what it IS. Talking to a girl like a regular person?
What? I’m sorry sir, are you high?
Yeah man, just talking to a chick is a thing to behold. And she plays a
paramount role in this as well! She can be either a total dumbass (read: every
Tagworld candidate that im’s/pm’s me) in which there’s no fun except to just
make fun of her and piss her off, or she can be some stuck up condescending
bitch. You want neither of these in a partner for conversation.
I dunno, the whole “compatibility” thing is sort of a
misleading bullshit buzz phrase to me. You either like each other or you don’t.
“Chemistry”? Save science for people who know what they’re talking about. I’ll
establish something else here: a woman with a backbone. A girl who wouldn’t be
deceitful and cowardly enough to lead you on if she didn’t share the same
feelings you did. Putting feelings on the table is something of paramount
importance, I think. No façade, no bullshit, no unsureness. Actions are carried
out much more fluently when the facts are clear.
Hey! Know what else I don’t want? Some bitch who’s too much of a coward to tell you that she’s dating a dude knowing full well you like her. Yeah. Definitely don’t want that.
Typing this out, I realize that this is just a
really fleshed out version of the tagging bullshit that everyone’s been doing. I’m
fashionably late, too. Oh well. Coincidence or not, it’s just shit on my mind.