Halflife 2: Episode 1 comes out tomorrow morning. If I may employ hip trendy slang, it looks ill.
I’m sick as a dog. Yes, in fucking May, crossing into June.
Doom II is an incredible game. Yes, I played it on my brother’s lap as a 5 year old little shit, and I’m playing it again now on the Xbox. It’s over 12 years old and still kicks the shit out of every single modern game that employs hours of mindless CGI cutscenes (Well helloooo FFX!!) I played an unhealthy amount over the break. My eyes reflected this. I took pictures. They will be up within a few days.

I moderately raped the SATs. 89th percentile. Just like the PSATs come to think of it. Mind you, I didn’t so much as open a book till about 2 weeks before the test, so my score’s obviously a notch lower than if I studied my ass off 5 months beforehand.
I’ll definitely retake them in the fall. I gotta up that math section.

So dark is the con of man. Ooohh rabble rabble rabble!

Poseidon kicked ass.
Just as I predicted, I was confined to a little theater. It was great. No screaming kids, no fat people packed around me. Just as the movies should be, damn it!
Poseidon was great. The special effects were fucking amazing. For those not familiar with the main catalyst/”antagonist” of the “plot,” an enormous tidal wave smashes into a cruise liner, capsizing it. The way that shit plowed into the ship was absolutely breathtaking. Definitely deserving of a second viewing.
The deaths were gory, great, and really realistic (i.e. during the last seconds of drowning where you can no longer fight the bodily reflex to breath, and a torrent of water comes painfully crashing down into your lungs, you agonizingly choke a few times and then slowly float to the bottom under the weight of your own flesh and body.)

I was watching a preview for some movie with Mark Wahlberg where he becomes a football player or something. The only thing running through my mind was, “That dude is Matt fucking Damon.” Does anyone else but me think that Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon look EXACTLY THE FUCK ALIKE?

There was also a preview for a movie called “Lake House,” starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. How’s that for chemistry? Keanu Reeves, the dipshit he is, seemed horrendous even in the Goddamn preview. Total chick flick, in any case. Bound to get your “Aww” reflex running, ladies.

Lastly, there was a preview for Superman. It actually seems pretty damn good! I’ll check it out sometime.

That night, I also saw Derailed, featuring Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. I thought it was a quality film. Jennifer Aniston starred here as a disgusting lying whore, a role extremely atypical to any other starring role I’ve seen her in. Clive Owen, who I really enjoy as an actor, played extremely well here also. The plot was very intriguing, with an insane twist 3/4 through. And the end scene was great.

The level of nostalgia this tune brings about for me is immeasurable by conventional means. A cookie to anyone who can recognize where this comes from.

Ahh…Memorial Day Weekend.

I wish to make a pilgrimage to the cinema sometime this weekend. I haven’t seen a good film in some time now.
I understand that X-Men 3 has made its way into release just today. I won’t be making it this weekend. Fuck that shit. The theaters will be packed to the brim with drooling idiots who can’t keep their food in their mouths, consequently coating the floor with a thick viscous concoction of melted cheese, diet Coke, and chocolate raisins. Dare I even mention the kids that will be interspersed throughout the audience? Some will cry, some will shriek and yell like the obnoxious little shits they are, some will just flat out annoy the fuck out of you with their constant babbling. No no no, I will not be making it to X-Men 3 this weekend.

The Da Vinci Code is also a tad too new for me to see this early. I’ll wait a few more weeks. Hell, maybe I’ll just hold off till DVD. Feelings are mixed about the film anyway. Some say it gorged on testicles, some say it had its testicles gorged on. I don’t know who to trust. So I’ll hang back a little bit.

I would, however, like to see Poseidon. It’s only got a few showings, and because of the 3 blockbusters currently playing (X-Men 3, Da Vinci Code, and Over the Hedge), it will be confined to a small little theater. Which I’m just fine with. I like those theaters. From what Filmforce tells me, it’s actually a fairly decent film, depicting rich people in horrific aquatic scenarios dying equally horrific deaths.
Every other disaster movie makes you sit through an hour of tedious,
hackneyed “doomed love” subplots or other machinations before diving
into the real reason why people go to see movies like this: to watch (often rich) people die horrific deaths in the most glamorous settings possible.

I’m game!

Rapedite

Jeanice

Cluckin Bell

Soothe

Commemorative Miniatures

JamezBond (about as old’d as the fucking Ice Age, but still hilarious)

You know? I’ve come to somewhat of a realization. The realization is this: it’s okay for girls to be stupid. It really is! We all know that stupid girls are the majority among the breasted populace; intelligent women are a rarity, and those that aren’t bitches because of the fact are even rarer. So what’s the point in saving yourself for “the perfect one”? Fuck “the perfect one”! Literally when she comes by, of course, but figuratively at the moment. Stupid chicks are great! And if there’s guarantee of compensation at the end of her stupidity saturated drivel about Johnny Depp, I’ll bite.

But, when you accept the fact that it’s okay for girls to be stupid, the whole idea of Tagworld makes so much more sense now…

Not that I’m actually going to start respecting those fucking morons, God forbid, but I understand them better now.

I mean, how the hell can you respect someone this Goddamned stupid?

From “lite78switch” on Tagworld:
y
the hell r u being so fuckin rude to me? i dont even rly no u and u r
all callin me names n shit. i dont fuckin get this, its gay and u have
no reason to alk 2me like this

(Note: All horrific grammar has been left intact. This message has been unaltered and is verbatim.)

Creative Plastic Surgery

Diamond Ice
Inversion Therapy

Champton Nanny

LOL i hav wun frend on zanga now!!!11eleven!13

This profile feature Xanga’s trying to incorporate is so fucking stupid. Besides boxing you in with no way to downgrade to its previous profile system, thereby disabling you from having any HTML in the profile, there’s nothing good about it. Oooh, you can have FRIENDS now! Holy shit! I can “NUDGE” people now! What the fuck is nudging anyway? I don’t want to nudge anyone and I sure as fuck do not want to be nudged by anyone else.

Xanga, you are not Myspace. Stop trying to be.

Bit of teh humar.

Pump Up Shoes

Epsilon Program 1

Wackary Film

*edit*
Ewww….I got nudged. God…I feel so…violated.

I recorded a bit of Countdown to Extinction. I don’t think my rendition is half fucking bad. Do have a listen.

LAWLZ! It’s a FACT! Look it up, folks!

Hush, they are songing. Smell that aroma!

Comp Sci’s becoming less enjoyable with the advent that we actually need to WORK now. Damn that sub. They aren’t allowed to force work upon us. Me especially! And I kissed so much ass getting her to like me too. Bitch.
BAH! So they say we need to do 5-3 and 5-4. Well 5-1 blew, 5-2 blew even more. And those were EASY. 5-3 is apparently giving trouble to the sole chick in the class. But then again, operating Word would give her trouble, so I really sort of laugh at her predicament and proceed to immediately disregard it. In any case, just those two fuckers left and I’m home free.

I filled the 9-1 shift at the pharmacy today because some bitch was on vacation. That sucked moderately. The pharmacist brought his little shitbag kid, too. Little fucker tried doing my job. I understand why kids are such nuisances to adults now.

Pretty cute chick was at the till office too. They’re starting to hire half decent looking girls now. Summer thing? I dunno. Whatever the cause, I approve.
Also, I think I look better with a goatee. Gonna leave that for a few weeks.

After work, I drove the parents up to Woodbridge Mall. Some fun on the Pike. Then to Wegmans for some much needed buffalo wings.
A humorous anecdote. I was still in my Shoprite lab jacket walking around Wegman’s. Apparently, the Wegman’s employees found this hilarious. One dubbed me a “traitor.” I’m gonna start walking around all stores in my lab jacket. Pathmark, A&P, etc. It’s gonna kick ass.

In other news, it’s total Power Rangers mania around here. I downloaded that 5 episode mini series that introduced the Green Ranger. God, so many memories. Funny, cause it was exactly a decade ago when I was 7 years old watching that shit.

I am ecstatic. I can listen to The Beatles again! And what’s more, I’m getting back into Flogging Molly!
Man, it’d be ridiculous to not listen to music you used to love over something so inherently stupid. I’m glad I’m over it.

Xanga offers site tracking now. How redundant. Welcome to the fucking Stone Age, Xanga! It’s nice to have you.

Hey, on the topic of this newly installed feature “flagging,” I see that one of the things you can “flag” posts for is “advocating self harm.”

So with that:

CUTTING IS AWESOME AND MAKE SURE TO VOMIT EVERY MEAL YOU EAT

Shit, I flagged myself. You know what you must do as a law abiding citizen of Xanga.