Teleporting at Random
1. GRIND SALT IN MORTAR
2. GRIND MISTLETOE IN MORTAR
3. RUB STONE IN MIXTURE
4. KISS STONE
5. Recite Verse:
With this kiss, I thee impart,
Power most dear to my heart.
Take me now from this place hither,
To another place far tither.
6. WAVE WAND.
I can guarantee that 99% of you have no fucking clue what I’m talking about and that is one of the many reasons why you are all failures.
Why do I resurrect such an old spell?
THIS IS WHY
Infamous Adventures, a game dev team, has remade Sierra’s original KQ3. Read that sentence 5 more times. Let’s back up. King’s Quest 3 is TWENTY YEARS OLD. It was released in 1986. I played it when I was 6 or 7. And now it’s been remade.
I was going into seizures as I read this. I downloaded it that second. They’ve added a shitload of new additions. There are entirely redone VGA graphics, new cinematics, a point-and-click interface discussed further below, and even an as of yet unreleased voice pack (including narrator). Their servers had 5000 downloads the first day after release.
The game is amazing. I beat it through last night and this morning. The nostalgia factor was absolutely overwhelming. This new version is also much easier. For one, there is now a point-and-click interface. If you said that to someone during the days of KQ3, you might have gotten your ass beat. KQ3 was a parser based app, in which you had to TYPE out various commands for them to be fulfilled, as opposed to just clicking on shit now.
Who remembers the mountain path outside Manannan’s house? Do you remember how fun that was using the arrow keys and then throwing your fucking computer against the wall as you plummeted to your death for the 50th time (if you didn’t save every millisecond, anyway)? Well now you can enjoy using the mouse. It’s an incredible game through and through that reminded me of the glory of adventure games back in the 90’s. If you any shred of respect for what gaming has evolved from, pay your respects and download this magnificent gem.
And when you’re done with that, AGD Interactive has KQ1 and KQ2 remade. I’m never leaving my computer again.
Oh and I’ve set myself a goal: I’m not gonna shave all summer. My beard is gonna be bitchin’ come September.