So I was a cool kid this weekend. I went to a party a chick was having. The party was held outside, where the temperature was easily 30 degrees. I thought I’d freeze my nuts off. Thank God there was this huge bonfire where we could gather around and warm our frozen limbs.

I couldn’t drink because I was driving and boy oh boy was I ever fucking pissed because of the fact.

The party was meh. It was mostly sophomores, with a few interspersed seniors. I think this was more of a “invite everyone I’ve ever met” sort of party, rather than a “invite people I actually care about” kind of party. There was some douchebag I knew from like 4 fucking years ago, who I know this chick couldn’t give a flying fuck about.

A (small) advantage to not drinking at a party is watching others who do.
Some fat little chick met this ugly buck toothed hick of a kid. They hit it off, she was drunk to fuck, and sometime during the course of the night, they hooked up. And when everyone found out, the shame on her face was absolutely priceless.

I met some cute little girl there too. Complete moron who wouldn’t shut the fuck up for 2 seconds, but cute. For warmth, or so I said, we got to cuddle a little bit in the cold.

There was dancing for a little bit, then a failed game of manhunt in which people were probably still hiding hours well after we already long stopped playing.

I also had a miniature heart attack when I thought I lost my keys. I started freaking out and when I found them, they were still in my trunk lock, for what was probably 4 hours.

When the party finally started to wind down, I bid my host good night and headed off. I was easily in the more malignant states of hypothermia by then, and so when I got into my car, I blasted the heater to the point where most small animals would be stricken with heatstroke.

Decent night all in all, I think.

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