Xanga’s retarded now. There’s way too many useless features and the site’s become a clusterfuck to navigate.

I wish my last name was Ali. That’d be brutal. That’s Aladdin’s last name, right?

The NY Auto Show was decent. Fuck Manhattan and fuck its weather, people, and smells, but the show itself was decent. I love the new Miata. I had an old guy try to sell me one of “the only 5 speed Volvo C30s” after I made a hilarious joke that the model on the floor was “missing a 3rd pedal”. The young man receiving my joke didn’t get it. Lots of people don’t seem to get my jokes. I’m just a river of comedy bursting to flood a large Southern city and leave thousands homeless.

The Ferrari display was baffling. There was one black F430 on display. That’s it. There were no signs, no reps, no booklets, fucking NOTHING. Just one car. And it was positioned in such a way as if Ferrari was hiding it. I certainly couldn’t find it with ease.

I wanted to spend money on something at the show, but didn’t bring anywhere near enough. Lamborghini was the only automaker selling things. Their shirts cost $85. A reversible hoodie cost $245. Oops! Maybe I should have taken a photo with two scantily clad whores in front of a Murcielago LP640. I could have told them about it while they were trying to get me to hold still and take a photo. After being thoroughly impressed with my knowledge and inability to hold still, they’d have let me take them to dinner. Fuck yeah!