The months pile on. It’s still sad to get retrospective about things. I had an urge last night to make contact, even this far down the line. I know that these urges don’t come from a genuine place of actually wanting to be together, more of an animal kind of urge, and I know that’s no reason to even consider opening that Pandora’s box. I realize our flaws and I realize why we failed, and I realize that you can’t glue a broken vase back together.
I read a few emails I had sent around November. Having these around at least gives me proof that it all really happened. That it wasn’t just some dream. I’ve gotten to the point where I wouldn’t have even minded keeping the letters around. Of course, those were the first things I threw away when it was still all so unbearable.
On a lighter note, the weather here is just out-fucking-standing. 80 and sunny for days now; just the perfect top down driving weather. It’s the kind of weather that makes me love this state.