I had a feeling I may have been jinxing myself in the last post. I’ll explain. It all started with an ominous text earlier this afternoon: “So I really want to talk to you about something. Can I just come over after work, like 5:30? We don’t have to do dinner or anything, I just want to chat for a minute.”
“Yeah sure, everything ok?”
“Yeah. I just want to talk about something.”
So she came over. As I was walking her back to my apartment, there already was an air of uneasiness. We went to my room and sat down on my bed.
“I don’t think we should keep seeing each other.”
I went “Oooof” because I knew what she was going to say before the words even left her mouth.
It’s a little weird being dumped in your own bedroom, and I had passing thoughts of torching the place, or at least the bed.
She kept saying, “I’m sorry” with this disgusting pity.
“It’s ok. I was never really that into you.” I could tell the words stung. I didn’t care.
She cited that we didn’t have as much in common as we may have initially thought, which is accurate. As I walked her to her car, she kept looking over at me.
“You look like you want to say something.”
[paraphrasing] “It’s just…people shouldn’t stay together just because of those lonely nights. We both deserve better.”
She’s right. My life in this town is winding down. If she hadn’t dumped me, I’d have dumped her eventually. This was a charade that we both knew had an expiration date. I never felt a sliver of the love and emotion that I felt for the last girl, who was my first. I kind of hung onto the faint hope that enough time spent together might spark those feelings again someday.
Of course now I get to go through that fun chore of awkwardly traipsing to your ex’s place to get your shit back. In this case, I left my slippers and phone charger. Oh life, you sadistic cunt. Back into the disgusting, rotting, fetid cesspool of dating I go. At least now I have an excuse to start blogging more often again!
Barring all this, we had a ton of awesome sex. I can proudly say I played with E cups, which will probably serve as the zenith of boobs in my life. The past 2 months were massive learning experiences for me, and that’s really the only lasting thing I can hope for from a relationship.