Some were born to sing the blues

I was philosophizing in the shower this morning and came to a conclusion: I’m not going to get over this girl until I sleep with another. I don’t want to sleep with another girl because I still want to sleep with this one, which is just a part of me missing her, but it’s the only way I’ll get over her. And that upsets me. Because it makes me sound like little more than a junkie jonesing for his next hit. (I’ve previously touched on the idea that love is a drug.) I should have the willpower to be happy alone. To not let my stupid brain think about her and romanticize our admittedly awesome sex. I’m a smart guy. I read books. I shouldn’t base my happiness entirely around getting laid. Sex is just really awesome and it’s always jarring when it stops. I think there is a synergy of sadness in breakups that consists of heartbreak compounded by a sudden cessation of having regular sex. “You need to get under someone to get over someone.” Am I doomed to forever be trapped in a loop of thinking about the last girl until a new one replaces her? Ugh, what a dismal thought.

I was playing a monologue out in my head this morning and throughout the day of a hypothetical meet wherein I would make an absolute fool of myself and basically put everything on the line, but I’m holding off on that particular disasterpiece for a few weeks. I need to distance myself for a while and give her a chance to feel the absence too. I’m going out of town next week anyway, which is perfect.

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2 responses to “Some were born to sing the blues

  1. Haha it’s funny how everyone says, NOO DON’T SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE! IT WON’T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!

    Honestly? Honestly? It made me feel better immediately. Haha. Just saying.

    The distance will be good for you. Love is totally a drug. I just replace it with whiskey. haha

    • I’m just theorizing, but I have a feeling that sex with someone you don’t really give a fuck about (i.e. someone you wouldn’t want to see the next morning) wouldn’t really be a good enough fix. You need an equal drug. I just hate that we’re basically slaves to hormones. Why can’t anything else make me feel as good?

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