I’ve all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were

2014 has wasted no time in testing me. After over a month of no contact, this last girl came out of the woodworks and Facebook messages me a video clip.


Ignoring this would be the epitome of petulant childishness, so I was polite and replied, “Ha, that was a lot of fun to watch, thanks.” It was an episode of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” with Louie C.K. and it actually was great to watch. She replies, “I’ll have to watch it tonight. Hope you’re well!”

With those last 3 words, I suddenly feel like I am 16 years old all over again. All of my worldly wisdom is gone and I am now a teenage girl picking apart words and looking for hidden meaning.

It’d be nice if I had experience in post-breakup communication, but sadly I don’t. The last breakup was easy in this regard because there was no post-breakup communication; it was as if she fell off the fucking planet.

So here we are. “Hope you’re well!”

This is: A) simply a nice gesture from a person I used to be close to or B) a way of her testing the waters.

I lean towards the latter. I don’t think girls just go, “OH! A VIDEO CLIP! I BETTER SEND IT TO THAT DUDE I WAS FUCKING A FEW MONTHS AGO!” They especially don’t think that in light of over a month of radio silence. (Do they? Prove me wrong, girls.) As far as I know, she’s still dating this dude. So why is she talking to me at all? I might be a little irritated if I was in that guy’s shoes.

I left it alone. “Hope you’re well” is not something that needs a reply. I don’t know what’s going on in her head. We haven’t been on the same page in a long time. With my upcoming rotation in NY, I won’t even be home until mid February, so it’s all moot anyway. 6 weeks is a long time for things to happen.

I really could do without these mental gymnastics. I miss the days when I was a kid, when life was simple. I played videogames and my biggest bother was finishing my homework or writing an essay. Speaking of videogames, I’ve been playing a lot of them since I came home for the holidays. My gaming desktop gathers dust at my parents’ house the majority of the year, but a few times a year it gets some use. Steam has had some awesome games on sale the past few days and I took full advantage. I got Quantum Conundrum, Deadlight, Unmechanical, and Slender: The Arrival. I’ve mostly been plugging through the former and it’s wonderful. I love physics games that make you think. Quantum Conundrum is reminiscent of Portal in many ways, but has enough unique elements to set itself apart. The writing is excellent as well. It just feels good to shut off my brain for a while and get lost in videogames again.


7 responses to “I’ve all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were

  1. Women: we’ll never fully understand them as much as we try to.

    (Ladies, that statement is not supposed to be taken negatively. For those of us who are strong enough, to fully understand the individual woman, who catches our eye, this is the reason we keep coming back. We want to understand.)

    Rotation in New York? City or elsewhere?

  2. 6 month rotation in Saratoga Springs? I’ve heard its nice! I wish I could go rotate places

    Possible useful input from a woman: Women love attention. Many of us like to know we are being pined over. If she’s still dating other dude and coming out of the blue contacting you my guess is that she’s just fishing for attention for whatever reason. Maybe she’s going through something and wants to stir you up a little to make herself feel nice.

    I hate that shit. I’ve got an ex who likes to write me from time to time despite my explicit requests that he never do so. I am sure he knows how much it pains me to hear from him and that is why he does it when he needs a pick me up.

    Perhaps your rotation will provide some new opportunities ;)

    • It’s the “maybe’s” that drive me up the wall. I want 100% guaranteed information! Unfortunately, this isn’t a science. :)

      I don’t think girls content in their relationships go around contacting exes. They shouldn’t at any rate. Not that it really matters, since I won’t be around for awhile anyway. All I can do here is play it cool.

      Unless your ex is a sadist, I don’t think he writes you with the intention of paining you. Sometimes exes get hung up and want you to know that they still exist. I was that asshole for a few months with the last one before I got sick of talking to a brick wall.

      I’m looking forward to the rotation. Saratoga’s supposed to be a college town, so we’ll see. Also, it’s 6 weeks, not 6 months. Depending on when I take the exams, I might be a licensed pharmacist in 6 months. :)

    • On the topic of women liking to know that they’re being pined over, turns out guys do too! I admit to having enjoyed the relatively constant attention of the last girl I dated in the interim after we stopped officially dating. Now that she’s actually seeing someone, that attention has waned and I kind of want it back again! :)

  3. I don’t even know what to think about her sending you the clip… I’ve only ever had relationships end really badly so I sure as shit wasn’t sending any youtube videos. Maybe she misses the attention you gave her? I don’t know… Kind of annoying to get Mind F***d like that though :-/

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