Israel

Hey internet! I just spent the last 3 weeks in Israel. With layovers, I traveled nearly 17 hours to get back to the states yesterday. I’m jet lagged, but doing ok considering.

Israel was incredible. It’s a fascinating country surrounded entirely by enemies and entrenched in eons of history. In news unrelated to the country itself, I met a ton of cool people, fucked a cool girl, and picked up 2 Russian girls walking down the street in Jaffa.

So let’s dish. Cool girl in question was in our tour group. The last time I got vacation pussy was in Alaska a few years ago. I have found that it’s not exceptionally difficult to get. People in vacation mode just seem more inclined to fuck than otherwise. Everything went swimmingly for a while until it didn’t. One day, a lightswitch flipped somewhere in her head and she turned into an obnoxious, cold and distant cunt. I’m not sure what happened to cause such a sudden switch in personality after fucking a couple times, and I’ve never experienced such a thing before. Moreover, she then later went on to wish me a safe flight via Facebook, leading me to doubt why on earth she’d be concerned with my well being after treating me like so much putrid garbage. Ladies be crazy, especially 20 year old children who don’t communicate.

The more staggering accomplishment in my eyes was how I managed to pick up 2 complete strangers on the street. I was walking with my buddy along the water in Tel Aviv towards Jaffa one night looking for dinner. We passed by 2 girls and I overheard Russian, so I stopped and asked if we were in Jaffa yet. (Aside: everyone in Israel speaks Russian. It’s staggering.) They said we were, and somehow we got to talking. After a few minutes, I asked if they’d had dinner yet. They said they hadn’t so I asked if they wanted to join my buddy and I. They looked at each other and agreed. It was that easy.

I have never done anything like this in my entire life. It is so the complete opposite of me that I’m still blown away. I operated the whole night on autopilot; I had no idea what I was doing. I just engaged them in conversation and listened. They were fascinating. I’ve never spoken with Russians that were actually from Russia. It was a delight listening to good Russian. Aside: Russians in America almost all have atrocious Russian. My buddy, who doesn’t speak a lick of Russian, told me how impressed he was at my ability to keep their attention the whole night. It wasn’t much fun for him since these girls were from Russia and didn’t speak a lick of English. He was entertained by the World Cup on TV though. After dinner, we were walking and I realized that it was getting late and I’d have to hurry if I wanted to catch the last bus home. Then the girls asked if I wanted to come drink with them. Oh God. I said, “Sure, but I’ll need a place to crash tonight. Do you have room?” And that’s how I woke up the next morning in a hotel room with two Russian girls.

Lady adventures aside, food in Israel is great. Hummus is delicious and so is falafel and so is shwarma. They’re also fans of various kebabs. None of it is healthy in the least, but that tends to come with the territory with tasty food.

There’s more to write about certainly. I’m glad to be home.

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